Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Cool dude

Richard over at Lost Pilgrim has updated the layout. If you thought it was good before, you'll be blown away now.
Go lookie. I'm not jealous. No, no, not at all.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

This could be describing my day

Thanks to Adrian for another great link.

Peter Herlihy tells me of somebody who was diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. And this is how it manifested itself:

He decided to wash his car. As he started towards the garage he noticed there was mail on the hall table. He decided to go through the letters before he washed the car.
He laid his car keys down on the table and was about to throw the junk mail in the wastepaper basket under the table when he noticed it was full. He decided to put the bills on the table and take out the rubbish.

But then he thought that as he was going to be near the gate, and the mailbox was just around the corner he might as well settle the bills first. So he took his cheque book off the table and noticed there was only one left. He had a new cheque book in the study and on entering the study saw a can of soft drink he had been drinking. Then he decided to put the drink in the fridge to cool it.

On his way to the kitchen, he noticed a vase of flowers on the kitchen counter that needed water. He put the can down, only to discover his reading glasses for which he had been searching all morning. He decided to put them back on his desk after he'd put water in the vase. He put his glasses back on the kitchen counter, filled a container with water and suddenly spotted the TV remote. Someone had left it on the kitchen table.

He realised that tonight he'd be searching for it so he decided to put it back where it belonged, but first he'd water the flowers. He splashed some water on the flowers, but most of it spilt on the floor. So he put the remote back on the table and got some towels to wipe up the spill. Then as he headed down the hall he tried to remember what it was he had been planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car wasn't washed, the bills weren't paid, there was a warm can of drink sitting on the table, the flowers had wilted, there was still only one cheque and he could find neither the remote control nor his glasses, and he couldn't recall what he'd done with the car keys.

Nor could he work out why nothing had got done today. And yet he was tired. He acknowledged that he had a problem and thought of ringing his doctor.
But then he spotted the bills on the table and thought he'd better pay them first.



Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Inbox daily : part 3

It's been a slow day, ok?

At first glance I wondered why Ernie Wise was fooling around with the everyone's favourite despot. I could tell you which comedian I prefer but this is a no politics zone. So I won't.




Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Inbox daily : part 2

The Major who was found guilty of cheating on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire' has just committed suicide...
Celador Productions have issued a statement saying that they are willing to pay for the funeral, but not for the coffin.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

The boss speaks out

Man, can that guy get any better looking?


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Here

by Grace Paly

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips.

Thanks to Kalilily for the link.

Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Stats update

I'm still getting google, yahoo and msn hits for that Bryan Adams story. It seems to go in cycles, one week lots of David Hasselhof hit, the next it's Bryan Adams. Wierd.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Inbox daily

A dog walks into a butcher shop, spends a number of minutes looking at the meat on display, and eventually indicates with a nod of his head and a bark that he would like some lamb chops. The butcher, thinking the dog would know no better, picks up the lowest quality chops in the shop.

The dog barks furiously and continues to bark until the butcher selects the finest chops from the display counter.

The butcher weighs the meat and asks the dog for $5.90. Again, the dog barks furiously until the butcher reduces the bill to the correct price of $3.60.

The dog hands over a five dollar note and the butcher gives him 40 cents in change. Once again, the dog barks continuously until the butcher tenders the correct change. The dog then picks up his package and leaves the shop.

Now, the butcher is extremely impressed and decides that he would like to own a dog so clever. He shuts up shop and follows the dog to see where it goes.

After ten minutes or so, the dog climbs the steps to a house. When it gets to the top, it shakes its head as though in frustration, gently places the package of meat on the floor and, standing on its hind legs, rings the doorbell.

A man opens the door and starts to yell obscenities at the dog. As he does so, the horrified butcher leaps up the steps and begs the man to stop. "It's such an intelligent dog," he says, "surely it doesn't deserve this kind of treatment."

He then went on to explain how the dog had procured the best lamb chops in the shop, insisted on paying the advertised price and quibbled over incorrect change!

The man looked at the butcher and said, "Intelligent he may be, but this is the third time this week he's forgotten his keys".


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Farting dogs

As if we didn't have enough around here, someone's devoted a whole website to them. Very childish and very funny.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

In space, no one can hear you snore

Do they have cocoa in the Federation?

Public confession #302: I have never seen a Star Wars movie.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

"Holy Cow" said a spokesperson

Okay, we don't know what really happened but this makes for a good story.

I like this comment - "it's about shit not tits". Snork.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link

Be still my beating heart

After four hours of hitting the redial button, my brother has got us tickets to see The Stereophonics at Cardiff University Great Hall on 1 June. One of their low key gigs in a small (1000 max capacity) venue. Between you and me, I'm a bit old for this sort of thing but I don't care. I'll wipe the dog walking mud off my jeans, print off a suitable t-shirt (a chasingdaisy special perhaps?) and go rock with the best of 'em.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | link
Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Inbox daily

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.
Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife! I want to know how she feels inside what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing is wrong', and how can I make the woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
Merci à Marie-Thérèse


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | link

What kind of dog are you?

According to ivillage:

You scored 71.4% German Shepherd

The German Shepherd is a workaholic. Intent on business, this loyal breed is always on patrol. Suspicious of strangers, she defends her territory with a fierce reproach. When it comes to affection, she is tender and loving toward her pack and feels a deep responsibility for their well-being. Mental and physical exercise both appeal equally to the German Shepherd, and her intelligence is further enhanced by her dedicated nature. When it comes to dependability, the German Shepherd has the market cornered.

You scored 28.6% Saint Bernard
The Saint Bernard is a devoted and gentle giant. Her calm personality allows her to relate well to children and adults alike while satisfying her need for companionship. She is at home in nature and enjoys exercise. Her coat requires weekly brushing to keep it neat and can be left long or cut short for versatility. She's relaxed in most situations, and her easy-going nature can't be beaten.

I would have taken a similar test at emode but they require registration and I already get enough spam to feed half of East Anglia so I passed on that temptation.

via steph'sjournal


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | link

Just as I was about to put some serious work on the layout here...

... a new blogging tool, using Movable Type, is just around the corner. Read about TypePad here and Ben Hammersley's Guardian article is here.

There's a thoughtful discussion about some of the legal/billing aspects.

Thanks to Garry for the link.


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | link

Troubled Diva, I kees you...

...for recommending Call Centre Confidential. Read the first page and then Meet the team part 2. Very funny.

It's unusual for me to notice this but I wonder if the writer is Welsh, something about the sentence structure? Or maybe it sounds like one of my brothers would sound if they had a blog. Or were a call centre manager. There doesn't seem to be any way of contacting the blogger but we'll see.

To use Graeme's phrase, consider him thoroughly blogrolled.


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | link

Television : update 1

William Gibson watches "less than twelve hours of television in a given year".


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | link
Monday, April 28, 2003

Other people's books

Professor John Bayley is selling Iris Murdoch's book collection.

I love to read other people's annotations in second hand books. I bought a second copy of Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island at a car boot sale because someone had written rude comments in the margins of nearly every page. Bastard!, F***ing bastard!! and Bollocks!!! were among the more polite entries. One of these days I'll scan in a few pages and post them here.

One of the few things I argue about with 'im indoors is treatment of books. He likes to keep books as pristine as the day they were bought. I like them dogeared and scrawled upon. Note to potential book lenders: I do not do this to borrowed books. Honestly.


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link

Computer haikus

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue

Many more on super fast computer. Go visit.


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link

Television : chewing gum for the eyes?

So said Frank Lloyd Wright. Pioneer Press recently asked readers to tell which tv shows they follow religiously every week.

Which got me thinking. I watch very little tv but don't particularly "boast" about it (if that's the right word? it seems that there is a snobbishness about television, certainly in Europe and people do proudly announce that they watch little or no televsion). Especially the soaps and the reality tv shows. But I confess that I don't watch much tv because I know that I could so easily become addicted to shows such as Eastenders, Oprah Winfrey, Changing Rooms, et al. I'm terrified that a trickle could become a flood. And then I'd have no time for alternatives such as blogging.

But really, isn't blogging a more interactive version of following a soap? When I go and read Zoe's wonderful posts about her life with the twat and the kids, isn't this just the same as following the fictional fortunes of Kat Slater or Ruth Archer? But with comments?

We are lucky enough to be able to afford a Sky subscription. The motivation to subscribe in the first place was to watch international rugby games, in the days when the BBC had lost the rights to show any game of interest. That has changed now, but I think only Sky has the right to broadcast England games (or maybe games played at Twickenham? I'll find out). So we keep it because my partner is a keen rugby fan and very interested in archaeology and paleontology - there are many fascinating documentaries on Discovery, National Geographic and so on.

But if I'm left alone with the remote control you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll find myself flicking to the "tat corner" - reruns of Montel Williams and Trading Up.

So there you go. I'm not a tv addict. I'm a blogadict.

If you had to limit your tv viewing to an hour a week, what show would you watch? Do you even own a tv? Do tell.


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link

Just arrived in my inbox

When Prime Minister Jean Chretien decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador in Ottawa and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour. At the dinner table the Ambassador's wife was talking with Madame Chretien. "Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the international scene for so many years! How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?"
"A penis," replied Madame Aline Chretien. A hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer... and no one knew what to say next.
Le Grand Jean leaned over to his wife and said, "Mon petit chou, in Hinglish dey pronounce dat word as 'appiness!'"
Merci à Marie-Thérèse.


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link

Friday Five : The Monday Version

1. What was the last TV show you watched?
Parkinson, taped on Saturday night, watched on Sunday night.
2. What was the last thing you complained about?
Probably the lack of any decent fresh vegetables at the local Tesco supermarket. Couldn't even find a savoy cabbage. On a Sunday morning for goodness sake.
3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
Bailey, my niece. On doing so well during her exam revision week.
4. What was the last thing you threw away?
Empty packet of chicken liver, cooked for dogs' breakfasts. Not a good smell at 07:00.
5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
Too many to mention - see blogroll.


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link

From Park Lane to Llanelli

Oh, I want one!



Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 28, 2003 | link
Sunday, April 27, 2003

This-or-That Tuesday: The *What Is* Edition

Courtesy of Southpaw.

What is...

Yummier: Chocolate ice cream or strawberry cheesecake?
Chocolate ice cream (but I prefer plain vanilla with sliced banana please)

Better to watch on TV: Movies or sports?
Ay, a good movie or a game of rugby? I think I'll have to go with the good movie. As long as I get to choose.

A better web browser: MSIE or Netscape (or tell us your own favorite!)
Never used Netscape so it'll have to be MSIE.

A better way to travel: Automobile or bus/train?
Train. Definitely. Even in the south east of England. Still a nervous car passenger following a nasty accident many years ago.

Your preferred camera: Digital or film?
Depends. Probably digital now.

A Cooler Vehicle: Motorcycle or sports car?
Motorbike.

More fun: Video games or board games?
Board games. Every time.

Sexier: A perfect body or an intelligent mind?
Intelligent mind. No question.

A stinkier smell: Skunk or gasoline (petrol)?
Skunk. Definitely. Experienced near Petticoat Creek, Canada.

Thought-provoking question of the week: What is more important to you: making a ton of money and being at the top of your field, or finding your soulmate and living a comfortable but not wealthy life?
Option 2 please. And long may it continue.


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

The cost of having dogs in the family...

  • £800 yellow sofa destroyed in first week.

  • £700 terracotta sofa destroyed in second week.

  • £180 per year medical insurance (worth every penny).

  • £? per week in food. I won't admit publicly to how much we spend on dog food. Let's just say we have gourmet canines and leave it at that.

  • £30+ in replacement underwear until I wised up and got a gate for the bottom of the stairs. And a lockable laundry basket.
    Aside: Up there in the top 10 of "my most embarrassing moments" is the day cute little puppy dog number 2 runs into the garden with a pair of your dirty knickers (chewed dirty knickers) on her head while next door neighbours are having a barbecue for his boss and his Very Important Clients.

  • £High to fix various chewed items of wooden furniture. Yes we bought that "bitter apple" anti chew stuff. It smells (and presumably tastes) vile. Not to our dogs. Then again, these are the dogs who try to lick the furniture polish off as I'm spraying it. Must be the novelty of seeing me housekeep.

  • £19 (sale price) to cover cost of brand new shoes eaten by little black monster. I bought them in a moment of madness (Per Una sales do that to me) and I was going to take them back to the shop the next day.

Before
After

Sigh. But I wouldn't change them for the world.

Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

"Your welfare is our concern"

Lost pilgrim has some useful advice and a roundup of all those caring companies wanting to help us beat SARS. Bless.

Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

"In your presence even a batallion of body builders could pass the New York State driving exam."

I've just spent [checks clock] oh my word, over an hour reading Jane's archives and came across her link to the Surrealist Compliment Generator. Here are a few more:

Hermaphrodites around the galaxy desire that you turn your rock and crochet bowl to its loudest setting.

Ever so slightly, you remind me of a staircase falling exotically into a sea of spilled macaroni.

Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball.


I suspect that I'll be sitting here hitting the refresh button for a while now...


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

If I had wishlist...

I wouldn't link to this. Or would I? Thanks to Jane for the link. I promised myself that I wouldn't add another blogroll until I had the format sorted but Jane's blog is just too good to miss.


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

The Mayday Project

The May Day Project - Saturday May 10th 2003
Thanks to Emese, I'm going to try and clear the whole of the day, Saturday 10 May for the MayDay Project. Just take off with my man, the dogs and a camera. Picnic optional. How about you?


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

Healing thoughts

to Sue, Oma and Buddy.


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link

Currently

Listening to Norah Jones and The White Stripes, Elephant, as recommended by the lost pilgrim and my brother. On the same day. Spooky.

Reading Loser by Jerry Spinelli. I borrowed it from my niece while she was here. Categorised as a children's book but highly recommended for one and all. You will want to adopt Donald Zinkoff, I promise.
And Toby Young's How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Very surprising.

Watching The 51st State. I hate action movies but this was such good fun. Would even like to watch it again. Was it shown with subtitles in the US?

Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 27, 2003 | link
Saturday, April 26, 2003

Oops

When I say Graeme, I of course mean lazy laces - and I promise that I will soon get to grips with the awful layout of the blogroll. Honest.

My niece has been here all week for "pre GCSE boot camp". A head full of periodic tables, photosynthesis and the imperfect tense of être and avoir cannot also be expected to cope with blog housekeeping. But she [sniff] goes home today so I'm hoping to have a little spare time for a mini revamp soon. Promises, promises.


Posted by Daisy on Saturday, April 26, 2003 | link

No more please!

Look guys, there are only so many hours in a day. I just can't be tempted into adding yet another great blog to the already long list of great blogs I read daily. So I'll just note here that Graeme has a lovely blog (excellent design, very easy on the eye).

But just because he mentioned me in his Friday Five [blush] and just because he's also a Minnie Driver fan and just because Will and Grace is the last tv programme he watched (ditto) this doesn't mean that I have to give in to temptation and add him to my daily reads. No sirreee.

Okay, blogrolling.com here I come...



Posted by Daisy on Saturday, April 26, 2003 | link
Friday, April 25, 2003

I need this like a hole in the head...

Off to a meeting with local health authority and social services representatives to discuss my mother in law's continued residence at the nursing home. There'll be tears before bedtime.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 25, 2003 | link
Thursday, April 24, 2003

There should be a special corner in heaven

For loved ones who bring you a freshly cooked bacon and mushroom sandwich and a big mug of tea, just when you're needing it most.


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 24, 2003 | link
Tuesday, April 22, 2003

You have to...

... go read this. Mad ranting Japanese woman. And it's not just the Brits, her poor fellow countrymen get the same treatment.


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 22, 2003 | link
Friday, April 18, 2003

Bit quiet today

We lost our beloved dog, Meg, a year ago tomorrow. I'm trying to concentrate on the positive, that we were so lucky to have her for four wonderful years. But I would give anything to have her back right now.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 18, 2003 | link

Wierd

I was just going to do a post about how many bloggers have dogs... 5 minutes later I stumbled upon pet blogging day. How did I miss this? Lots of scrummy pooches to drool over but I think Mildred



gets my vote for cutest. And you can read 100 THINGS ABOUT MILDRED here.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 18, 2003 | link
Thursday, April 17, 2003

Most important headline of the day

The waxwork model of Brad Pitt at Madame Tussauds (London) has been replaced with one that sports a squeezable bum. Scope for endless amusement here. But I think this is perfect fodder for the manly smell. Over to you manly!


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 17, 2003 | link
Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Go immediately

here and read. Quick!


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link

Overseen?

Seen scrawled on a toilet door in Victoria Station, London. Circa 1982.

I hate homos

and underneath

Have you tried taramasalata?


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link

Overheard

Man number one: My mother made me a homosexual.
Man number two: If I gave her the wool, would she knit me one too?


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link

Blogrolling additions

Trailer Trash Family and It always rains in Wales and sevitz dot com. Go enjoy y'all.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link

THE POWER OF DAVID HASSELHOFF

There's always something good at Dave Barry's site. Today is no exception.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link

Priceless

Just did a quick google (for a Welsh flag) and came across the following entry at worldoneness. Here's the site intro:
Welcome to the web site where you may read the first person foreign travel experiences of others, or share your own foreign travel experiences with them. We welcome teachers, students, arm chair travelers, people who have been there - done that, or people who are just thinking of going. We encourage you to share your stories with us and, hopefully, we will soon have dozens of articles on every country in the world. Thank you for passing this site on to your friends, relatives, and neighbors. We hope you will enjoy your visit here.

Sounds good, no?

But here's the entry for Wales (pedant's note: I think she means Llangollen):

Llangollon, Wales - May 1985
(by) Vicky Blitz

My husband, Bob, and I were on a two week bus tour through England, Scotland and Wales. But we were in Wales very briefly. We stopped for lunch in the lovely little town of Llangollon and I tried their rum baba, served by a very pleasant young woman.

Our tour guide, Tristan, had done a lot of hiking and camping in England, where one can freely cross the farmers lands without any fear. It is the custom in England, that, most land is "open" to the public, as long as they don't leave trash behind. However, he warned us that hiking and camping in Wales was a little risky, if one goes far back in the hills. He said, that, as in parts of Appalachia in the U.S., some people have been back in the Welsh hills for such a long time, isolated from the rest of the world, there has been inbreeding and the gene pool has gone down in intelligence. Couple that, with the distrust of strangers (the mountain people have), for one's own safety, it is wise to avoid the Welsh mountains, when hiking and camping in Wales.
June 4, 2002


Way to go, Tristan!

But I feel really bad now. Many years ago I had a long conversation with an innocent Canadian guy in Petticoat Creek. He was planning a trip to Wales and was full of questions about the mountains, the pubs, the usual things vital to a 20-odd year old Canadian travelling to Europe for the first time. So I talked to him. At great length. And I embellished. God forgive me, I told him a pack of lies. My father served for many years with the mountain rescue team so I had plenty of material to work with (sorry Dad). So this is for Rick with the red hair and the sweet smile, former resident of Pickering, Canada. I'm sorry. Hope you went to Wales and discovered the truth for yourself.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | link
Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Has Jerry Springer done a show on this yet?

'Cos I've got a confession. And I'm going public. I have absolutely no idea how shares work. There. I've said it. A couple of weeks ago I signed up with Blogshares. Seemed like a fun idea. Thanks Morgaine. But then I forgot about it. Hey, I've got a full time job and two mad puppies to walk, feed, etc. A girl can only do so much. Then I got a note from Morgaine to say that my share prices had gone up (and even I know that this must be A Good Thing) so I trundled off to have a look-see. Oh sweet Mother of God. It might as well be written in Swahili. What the flying fuck is an IPO? Now I might not be the sharpest tool in the box but do all these bloggers really know html, php, blah, blah AND share dealing? Shakes head in awe and disbelief.

So I've downloaded the manual and will read it in bed tonight. Anyone got a spare copy of Investing for Dummies?


Posted by Daisy on Tuesday, April 15, 2003 | link
Monday, April 14, 2003

Cymru am byth, Mr Bush!

Late breaking news

Wales Added to Axis of Evil
Last night world leaders were again in uproar as America announced a shock addition to its controversial Axis of Evil.
President Bush made the shock announcement in a surprise press conference late last night. President Bush, seen by many as the sole cause of many of the world's current problems, launched a blistering attack on the people and culture of Wales. At one point going as far as to claim that the people of Wales are 'less good at stuff than other people'. Commentators have noted that the language used in the comment indicates that Bush himself added this particular insult.


Go read the rest of it here.

A few niggly points, if I may, Mr Bush, sir?

• An annoying accent

Pot. Kettle. Black.

• Welsh Male choirs

Yeah, it's a bit embarrassing to have such a vocal reminder of a once proud mining nation. Sure, we can import our coal from Eastern Europe. I guess that means we can never go to war with any of these countries? On second thoughts...

• Having a mythical creature on their flag

Better than a follically challenged vulture. Sir.

• Excessively high sheep to man ratio

Since you're so familiar with the words "foot" and "mouth" in the same sentence, even you should know that much of Welsh farming is switching to equine husbandry. (That's horses, Sir).

• Over abundance of velcro loves

Eh? Is this a typo or a Bushism?

• Tom Jones during the 80's

Erm, didn't he spend most of the 80s in a lounge suit in Las Vegas?

• The Welsh language

And Chappaquidick just rolls right off the tongue? Oops, mustn't mention the bridge. You're right, you wouldn't have a hope in hell of learning any Welsh. Let's face it, Sir, you're linguistically challenged by English. And I guess the CIA would have a problem finding a crack team of Welsh linguists.

• Long place names

See above.

• Overly high sense of national pride

You don't follow the rugby then Sir?

• A desire for self rule

And your point is?


Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 14, 2003 | link
Sunday, April 13, 2003

Now that's what I call sticky

Following a link from Rebecca Blood's site, this site will tell you the best method of sticking two items together. That's it. Sheer bloody genius. And there's a French version.


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 13, 2003 | link

Quote of the day

From Saturday's Guardian newspaper (UK), letters page:

Why all this talk of Sunni and Shia?
Everyone knows they haven't had a decent hit since I Got You Babe.
Alan Gent
Cheadle, Cheshire



Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 13, 2003 | link

The picture isn't funny

Until you read the text. Thanks to green fairy for yet another great link.


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 13, 2003 | link

A good read

The BBC are inviting votes for the "best book" (fiction only). (I'm assuming that votes are not limited to the United Kingdom.) There's also a message board. Just don't mention Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter. If you love books, some of the threads make for interesting reading.

As for the vote, I can't even decide on a top ten of books, let alone just one. I started to make a list but stopped at 17 when I realised that was just from one bookcase...

Nevil Shute - The Chequer Board
Phil Whitaker - Eclipse of the Sun
Guy de Maupassant - The Necklace and Other Short Stories (except that short stories aren't allowed)
Bernice Rubens - Mr Wakefield's Crusade
Meera Syal - Anita and Me
James Herbert - The Magic Cottage
Joan Lindsay - Picnic at Hanging Rock
Everything by Paul Auster, but particularly Mr Vertigo and Timbuktu
John Irving - A Widow for One Year
Anne Tyler - Ladder of Years
Carol Shields - Larry's Party
Elizabeth McCracken - The Giant's House
Paullina Simons - Tully
Kazuo Ishiguro - The Remains of the Day
George Orwell - A Clergyman's Daughter
Armistead Maupin - Tales of the City (the whole series)
Black Like Me - John Howard Griffin (non-fiction, so not eligible)

Do you love/hate any of these books? And what would you vote for?


Posted by Daisy on Sunday, April 13, 2003 | link
Friday, April 11, 2003

Shame on you Dafydd Jones

We settled down at 19:30 to watch the Llanelli v Perpignan game live from Stradey Park. Trays laden with crispy duck pancakes and a big pot of tea AND a game of rugby. What more could a girl ask. Then ten minutes into the game it all got a bit nasty and Llannelli's Dafydd Jones decided to stamp on another player's head. And I mean, really stamp. Stupid bugger. The referee was a paramedic for 17 years. I'm sure he's seen the results of head injuries. The red card came out and Llanelli are one man down for the rest of the game. So I wandered upstairs meaning to do some work but I started reading Morgaine's blog and clicking on links and before you know it I've spent two hours in front of the screen with no work done. Note to self: do not go to other people's blogs when you have work to do.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 11, 2003 | link

Recently released memorandum

I got this email last year, no idea who the author is, if you know please let me know. Talent like this should be appreciated!

From: Bin Laden, Osama.

To: All Al Qaeda Fighters.

Subject: The Cave.


Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a Jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota...have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the shit out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the "Wassup?' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.

Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "Osama f**ks donkeys" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

Love you lots, Group Hug.

Os.

P.S. - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 11, 2003 | link
Thursday, April 10, 2003

Oh the joys of stats!

I could become a stats junkie. Not in a "let's see how many hits I've got" kinda way (please, I've only been doing this for a month, just a few kind souls come and read this drivel) but in a "how on earth did I get listed in google for that" kinda way. Lots of people are searching for the girl in coma/Bryan Adams story. And yours truly gets top billing. Why? So the previous post was a test to see if I can get more interesting referrals (is that the right word?) from google.


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 10, 2003 | link

Testing

tits. bum. poo.


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 10, 2003 | link
Wednesday, April 09, 2003

Not a lot of people know that. Part I

Thanks to nobody's doll, I know now that the patron saint of computers and the Internet is St Isidore of Seville.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 | link

Flight of Fancy

Sniff. Sniff. I've just watched the episode of NYPD Blue where Lt Arthur Fancy leaves the squad. Best episode yet. If only for the looks exchanged between John, Danny and Sipowitz. But what the **** is Channel 4 doing? It's getting scheduled later and later each week. Are they getting ready to dump it? I only watch about 4 hours of tv a week and now you're messing with the best hour? Oh please no! I feel a "disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" letter coming on. Any NYPD Blue fans out there should be writing to Channel 4 immediately.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 | link

A fate worse than death?

Cigarette packets have suddenly started sporting much larger health warnings. SMOKING KILLS in large black letters, bigger even than the brand information (Marlborough in this case). They'll have to do better than that. The horrors of death by a smoking related disease are far outweighed by the horrors of an end of life spent in the twilight zone of a nursing home. My mother in law moved to one 2 years ago. She's relatively fit but confined to a wheelchair. Although well cared for, at 84 she has another 10? 15? 20? years of being surrounded by unfortunate souls whose sole topic of conversation is gibberish. I can't begin to describe how depressing it is just to visit there. So the thought of actually living there makes me reach for another smoke. And another.
Funnily enough, I took a little detour for distraction while writing this and Leto in New Zealand has just posted a similar comment. Spooky.


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 | link

Lost posts

I've heard other bloggers talk about lost posts but haven't had it happen until today. Just as well really, it was an embarrassing late night post on my childhood excitement at discovering that j-cloths were now available in pink and blue (I used them to make dolls' clothes).


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 09, 2003 | link

Lucky dog

Not sure whether this comes under the "feel good" or "scary, scary" category but the BBC has a story on Jake the dog who swallowed a 7 inch knife and lived to tell the tail tale.
Here's the knife:

And here's Jake

Monday, April 07, 2003

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible





Posted by Daisy on Monday, April 07, 2003 | link
Saturday, April 05, 2003

Ssshhh

I'm concentrating. We're about to install USB2 ports somewhere in the computer. In a spare PCI slot apparently. Hope I've got one. One of my brothers is staying for the weekend and has agreed to help do it for me. I bought the Belkin USB 2 port thingy from QVC and was chuffed to get a free tool kit:

There's a cute little yellow tool, like a syringe mechanism, that you can use to get ahold of pesky little screws tucked down deep in the innards of the computer. There must be another use for this... I'm torn between keeping it as a toolkit (although I'd never dare actually take the Dell cover off myself and use anything in there) or ditching the tools and using it as a mini office (pens, stapler, etc.) in my briefcase. How sad am I?


Posted by Daisy on Saturday, April 05, 2003 | link
Friday, April 04, 2003

Brilliant!



Just been reading an excellent interview with Graham Lost Consonants Rawle.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 04, 2003 | link

You couldn't make this up...

Web surfers besiege website of Bagdad, Tasmania
Traffic to a community website for the small Tasmanian town of Bagdad has more than doubled since war started in Iraq.
Hits to the Bagdad Online Access Centre have reached 15,000 a day, reports ABC News.
Coordinator Lorraine Bennett said some of the confused website visitors offered words of support for the people of Bagdad.
"A lot of them are very encouraging and telling us to keep our head down and mind the bombs," she said.
"I think the scenario is that they are sending them to the wrong Bagdad and I'm just saying that we're in Tasmania, Australia, and we thank them for their good wishes and we hope that the people are fine."
Bagdad, Tasmania, is home to 650 people and lies 8,000 miles from its Iraqi namesake.


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 04, 2003 | link

Can this be true?

I mean, I know there's a war on and all but surely this should have made bigger headlines rather than being tucked away in the back pages of Ananova?

Woman wakes from seven year coma at Bryan Adams concert

A German woman has woken up from a seven year coma after she was taken in a wheelchair to see Bryan Adams in concert.
Christiane Kittel, now 24, was a pupil at her local school in Regensburg, when she fell into a coma.
Doctors diagnosed a lung embolism and, despite emergency surgery to save her life, Christiane never fully recovered - spending the last seven years in a coma.
Her mother, Adelheid Kittel, said: "Bryan Adams was always her biggest hero and she loved his music before she fell into a coma.
"Christiane was sitting in her special wheelchair and suddenly ... she opened her eyes and actually watched what was going on, she started to move in the wheelchair, and she was totally fascinated by the music and the singer.
"I will never forget it, I could have hugged the whole world. When we got back to the clinic she was still animated, and three times she called my name, she said Mama."
Her doctor Gerhard Weber confirmed she has suffered no relapses since the recovery. He said: "She is a perfect example of the fact that despite the very worst injuries there is always hope."


Thank God it wasn't a David Hasselhof concert...


Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 04, 2003 | link

If you're not interested in knitting please look away now

But if you're interested in knitting or great site design then read on. I just discovered a beautifully designed site at knitty.com. I haven't knitted anything since I found a photo of me (that my lovely papa had kindly put in the bin so that I didn't see it) wearing a pink and black striped mohair monstrosity creation but this site is enough to get even the most hardened anti-knitters clicking away. Just look at this picture -

those are knitting needles for goodness sake! They look as good as a pot of pens and pencils (my particular fetish). Brilliant pictures throughout the site, detailed text and illustrations of knitting techniques. Am I sounding a bit girly now? Sorry. But man, it's such a great site!

Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 04, 2003 | link

Talking of expats

I was, honestly, but it was offline. Anyway, lost in transit.org is a collection of essays written by a variety of individuals living away from their native land. Do go and check it out. Thanks to Sue at a kitchen in brabant and to Kim at empty wishes.

Posted by Daisy on Friday, April 04, 2003 | link
Thursday, April 03, 2003

Mocking the afflicted


Seen at brian kane online. I wonder if this guy, whoever he is, will ever see his picture online?


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 03, 2003 | link

A bit late but...

I love this new product from ThinkGeek.


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 03, 2003 | link

BlogShares

I've signed up for BlogShares so that I can spend that virtual $500 supporting some of those great blogs out there...


Posted by Daisy on Thursday, April 03, 2003 | link
Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Best photo seen on the web this week



"Lola meets Moose" from view from my window gets my vote.

Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 02, 2003 | link

I can't count late at night...

A slight cockup in the proceedings of the last post. I did think of 10 famous Belgians but somehow Eddie Merckx got dropped from the list. But I've just discovered an
astounding fact: Belgium is the world’s leading exporter of billiard balls. Three out of four of all balls come from Belgium. Who'd have thunk it?
But wait, there's more. I also missed out on a Belgian who's made it big in Hollywood - Jean Claude Van Damme


Posted by Daisy on Wednesday, April 02, 2003 | link